L I F E

another year . . .

MeRRy ChRiStMaS . . .

the gratitude campaign . . .

I. Idiot of the Day . . .

two girls in the office both had their birthdays today. they were born 20 years apart, ha ha!!! this other girl, whom i would like to refer to as Xanadu, announced to the whole office that we should see the gifts she gave the girls. supposedly, her gifts were branded items, one of those expensive luxury labels whose name i won't just mention here. everybody's forehead creased in amazement upon learning how Xanadu is so generous to buy expensive gift items for the birthday girls and yet, so stingy when it comes to buying her own lunch. here's this girl who never brings her own lunch nor buys lunch for herself and all she does during lunch breaks is munch on just anybody's food. she picks food from here and there, saying she'd like to see how they taste . . . OMG, she should just retire that line already coz it's becoming so annoying.

going back to the branded luxury gift items => after the girls blew their cakes, they opened their gifts at the same time, while we were all watching with excitement. we can't wait to see what was in Xanadu's box. lo and behold!!!!! just one glance on those gifts, even from a distance, one can already tell they were fake. they were obviously knockoff items but the funny thing was, Xanadu had the nerve to make a speech and trying to convince everybody that those were real and authentic. how the hell could she try and make us all believe her gifts were the real thing, even giving us the price and the store location where she bought them. she, herself, believed in her own lies, or did she???? what kind of a person would convince the recipients that it is always customary for her to give them expensive gifts because they are so deserving enough that the price won't even matter . . . ha ha ha!!!!! rather than sounding so whimsical, she could have just written a personal birthday note from the heart and it would have meant more to the birthday girls. but Xanadu is always so consumed with the material things that she always equates everything to brands and prices . . . so pathetic!!!!

what a freaky night it was . . .

earlier today, my coworker asked if i could give her a ride after work . . . and knowing me . . . always the yes girl that i am . . . without even asking where to and why . . . i just automatically nodded. so after work, there she was, waiting for me as i was heading out. another coworker saw us and asked for a ride, as well. so there we were, the 3 of us in my car, and as i was driving out of the parking, i asked them, "so, where to, ladies? and where are your cars, why aren't you driving today?" the other one said her car's in the shop for maintenance and if i could drop her off at the nissan dealer to pick up her car. the other one said she never drove to work and she was always commuting to work since day one. huh!!!! where have i been? :) i guess i haven't really been paying attention to my coworkers' daily routines or maybe i'm not just that nosy enough or maybe, i've just been sticking my nose to my own business.

so after i dropped off the other girl at the nissan dealer, i asked the other girl where she wants to be dropped off. she said there's a really great cuban bakery about a block from the nissan dealer, and if we can drop by there and get some bread and pastries. "ok, i guess," was my ready answer. as we were entering the parking lot to the bakery, OMG, suddenly, there was this huge bang coming from the rear. somebody just hit us from behind and both of us turned our heads back and tried to see what/who just hit us. we saw this white car kinda stuck to my rear bumper, with two men inside and as i was trying to get out of the car to check it out and maybe exchange information, the white car just drove off and zoomed away. my adrenaline was just rushing and i was going to go after that white car to get an ID on the driver, but my coworker calmly told me NOT TO and not even take that risk and waste my time coz we don't know about those people, they might be fugitives, for all we know. and then, calmly again, she handed me a paper with some scribblings in it. "what's this?", i asked. "oh that's the other vehicle's make and model and the plate number," she said. i guess because of her calm demeanor, she didn't panic and had the presence of mind to take down the important information, shame on me, huh! i can't thank her enough for the kind gesture. it is indeed nerve-wracking to be involved in a car accident, and much worse, to be in a "hit and run" incident.

we still went inside the cuban bakery and bought our breads and pastries. might as well, enjoy those pastries while we were there. we sat in a corner table and enjoyed our food. my coworker asked me if i was alright and she apologized for what happened, insisting that if it weren't for her suggestion to drop by the bakery, i wouldn't even be near that vicinity. "oh, be quiet, whatever happened, happened; it could happen to anyone, but it happened to us, so we'll just be more careful next time," i said to her. and then she asked if i could drop her off at the nearest train station so she could take the next train home . . . "naaaaah", i said, i decided to drive you home, instead." she was hesitant at first, saying that it's too much of a favor to ask me to drive her home. i told her she's not asking a favor, i insist on driving her home. i didn't even know where she lives, so i asked her to punch in her address in the GPS and as i was driving her home, surprisingly, her home is on my way home. it wasn't even out of the way. we had some meaningful conversation on our way home and maybe, just maybe, we can carpool to work together from this point on. we're going to work on that and see where that goes.

zzzzzzz & more zzzzzzz

The past weeks and weekends have been so hectic & so crazy, both at work & in the homefront. There was always something that needs to be done & someone that needs to be attended to, huh! So, for the first time in a really, really long while, this weekend has been a bliss! Something out of the ordinary! Surprisingly, but unbelievably true, there was nothing on schedule in our home calendar, halleluiah!!! Nothing - as in zero, zip, as in - really nothing!

This weekend was one of those lazy weekends, one that doesn't come by very often. And whenever this happens, we treasure it and enjoy it with open arms and we savor this moment by doing nothing, yesss, nothing, except eat & sleep! :) :) :) Yeah, that's what we all did this weekend - eat a little here & there, but most of all, we were sleeping, sleeping & yes, sleeping and snoring our hearts out. :) :) :) One of my friends told me that you can't really catch up on lost sleep, if you lost it, it's lost forever, you can't sleep the whole weekend to regain it back. True, she could be right but still, it's great to get more sleep & feel rested & relaxed.

And when it was about sundown today, my boys were starving and started looking for food and started scouring the kitchen. Unfortunately, we ran out of our homecooked food, so we decided to dress up, go out & have a decent meal to celebrate the end of our lazy weekend. We went to this place a few miles from home, where our friend was playing keyboards in a jazz band. While we were outside waiting for our table, we saw this "words of wisdom" engraved on the pavement. What a contrast to our lazy weekend but it gives us the push to look forward to the coming week. Something to think about and ponder. Hmmmmmmm!

the next president of the United States . . .

beautiful family!!!

gEt OuT tHe VoTe ToDaY . . .

yes on 8 . . . .

on this redistribution of wealth . . .

I have been trying my best to keep away from these political debates, so as not to get caught in the crossfires. I hear it everywhere - @ work, in church, in the cafeteria, in parties, in the groceries, during family gatherings, in forum groups, during our son's sporting events, on TV, the print media, the Internet, just anywhere I go, it's there. Friendships were strained just because they're @ opposing ends of the political spectrum. OMG, I can't even believe it was actually happening. These friends & coworkers of mine couldn't just stick to the political issues. They took it to the next level & made it personal & then, suddenly, it all became a back & forth personal attack & of course, at the end, it became a personal grudge against each other. Sometimes it's annoying, sometimes it's intriguing and most of the time, it's dirty and it's just getting nowhere.

Not that I don't have an opinion about this election brouhaha, me of all people?? Of course I do have an opinion, but I'd rather just keep it to myself & vote for the man whose issues & causes are those closest to my values in life. I weigh out all the pros & cons of each presidential candidate & I make up my own mind & come up with my own decision. I don't have to argue with someone with the hopes of changing their minds to vote for the same person I voted for, ha ha, that's so pointless & such a waste of time. And it's not all the time that my friends & I have the same opinions, most of the time we have different opinions on different issues and that's what's great about the kind of friendship we have. We've always got along well & have co-existed peacefully & harmoniously. I don't have to debate & fight with them each time we have different stands on issues & then eventually strain the good relations we have had. For what? Obama & McCain don't care whether or not friendships were mended right after a new president has been elected. That's the least of their concern; the winner goes to the white house, the loser moves on with his life, while my friends are still at odds with each other. It's a waiting game for them as to whose egos were bruised the most & who would do the first move to reach out to the others & apologize. It's crazy! They're worse than little kids.

But they're all my friends, what can I do? I love them all for what/who they are & for what/who they're not. Maybe, when the election fever ends, I should just be the instrument of peace & bridge the gap between these feuding friends. It may be a hard task to do but it'll be all worth the effort. That would be a challenge for me.

And yet, these friends of ours just never cease to amaze me. They never get tired of sending me e-mails favorable to the candidate they support. Out of courtesy to them, I try to browse through those e-mails before deleting them. And every so often, there's a few that crack me up. Here's a sample of one of those e-mails, obviously, from a McCain fan, here goes:

********************************

redistribution of wealth experiment:

At a West Hollywood restaurant, my waiter had on a "Obama 08″ tie. I chuckled to myself as he had given away his political preference.

When the bill came, I decided not to tip the waiter and explained to him that I was exploring the Obama redistribution of wealth concept. He stood there in disbelief while I told him that I was going to redistribute his tip to someone who I deemed more in need: the homeless guy outside. The server angrily stormed from my sight.

I went outside, gave the homeless guy $10 and told him to thank the waiter inside as I've decided he could use the money more. The homeless guy was grateful.

At the end of my rather armature redistribution experiment, I realized the homeless guy was grateful for the money he did not earn, but the waiter was pretty angry that I gave away the money he did earn, even though the actual recipient needed the money more.

I guess redistribution of wealth is not very popular in practical application!

all soul's day . . .

in some parts of the world, today's the day of the dead. and from my catholic childhood upbringing, today, the 1st day of november, has always been celebrated as the day to remember our dearly departed. it's a day usually spent in the cemetery to visit the burial sites of our loved ones and spend time there and remember their lives here on earth.

my dad's slow death from cancer and my younger brother's sudden death from murder both have about the same effect of grief and pain to me and my family. it is a numbing pain that to this day, every now and then, and each time something comes up that reminds me of them, it still stings like a bee. i guess the pain will never go away . . . it just stays there in some parts of the heart and i just have to learn to smile through the pain. and then one day, like today, i have come to learn to get used to that kind of pain. and it's always a good thing that we talk about our loved ones whose lives were cut short, and bring them up in our family conversations and keep their memories close to our hearts. everytime we talk about them, it feels like they're smiling up there in heaven. ha ha, there's no scientific proof about this "smiling up there in heaven" theory, it's just some crazy idea that i made up and it worked for me, so far. 

What a morning it was!

This morning at work, in one of the round table discussions regarding our files that are about to start trial, my personal opinion was asked about one of the civil cases. Why they picked me? I have no idea! Since when did they ever care about my opinion? Since when did my opinion ever matter to them? But my guess is - maybe, just maybe, because I am a mother. Maybe that's why. They wanted to hear an honest, unbiased opinion from a mother's point of view, a mother who's very vocal on issues & a mother who speaks her mind out regardless of the consequence. And somehow, maybe they thought I fit into that profile. Oh, well! I take it as a compliment.

About a year ago, a mother witnessed how her toddler was beaten to death by the neighbor's dog. She couldn't do anything to save her toddler & she almost went crazy right after the incident. She went into deep grief & severe depression & just recently, has slowly started to pick up the pieces together.

So back to the discussion room, there we were - 3 mothers & 3 other women with no kids, non-mothers as they were referred to & then there were the men. Our honest opinion was sought as to how much reasonable $$$$ amount we think the mother's grief & trauma was worth. We need to put a dollar figure to the mother's turmoil, yesssss - an exact dollar figure!!!! I thought to myself, "are these people even serious?" is this some kind of a trick question?

Thank God I was asked last. At least I had the opportunity to hear what the others have got to say. They put in values ranging from hundreds of thousands to millions. And they were jotting down notes & they were very serious about it. I was dumbfounded. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, that when it was my turn to speak, ha ha, I seemed lost. I just went blank. My memories about death & murder & grief suddenly just flashed before my eyes.

"Ingrid, are you following the discussion?", they asked me as if I was a retard. I nodded. "So, what do you think? How much is it worth?" I felt so stupid coz I didn't know how to verbalize my thoughts. "C'mon now, how much is it worth? We don't have the whole day for you." OMG, I can't believe how I got them annoyed. They started to be impatient & sarcastic.

So I said, "you really want my honest opinion? ZERO!!! You can't equate nor quantify a mother's grief. No amount of money can compensate for the trauma the mother went through. There's no equivalent dollar value to a loss of a child. That's something you can't put a price tag on. It is just difficult for me. But if it is really necessary that the mother gets compensated, then she deserves the top dollar value, whatever highest amount she can get." And they all laughed, telling me I was so over dramatic & ridiculous. They made fun of me for making such a simple task turn into a complex issue. They just wanted me to spit out a figure - "anything between $1 to $1million" - as if i'm like placing a bid in some auction somewhere & they want me to hurry.

They just wanted to get rid of the case, since it has been dragging on for sometime now. They never really cared about the mother & her grief & her trauma. To them, it's all about the MONEY!!! Yesssss, the Almighty Dollar!!!! And these are the kind of people who live their lives always compromising their morals & values, convinced that everything in life has a price tag on it. And I realized, I am THE bigger loser for even continuing to work with these scumbags & putting up with their eccentricities.

I hope this case ends up with a sensible jury, before a decent judge. I pray that whatever the outcome will be, that it'll be something the "mother" will be comfortable with, without any guilt on her part. I hope I will never be again, put in a compromising situation, wherein giving my honest opinion will jeopardize the nature of my employment; wherein what's in my heart usually contradicts the expectations of the people I work with. Maybe i picked the wrong kind of work. Oh well!!!! Que sera sera!

isn't it ironic????

yessss . . . and to continue further from the song's lyrics . . . a 98 year old man won the lottery and died the next day . . . a death row pardon 2 minutes too late . . . a traffic jam when you're already late . . . 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife . . . meeting the man of your dreams & then meeting his beautiful wife . . . yes, indeed!!!! life has a funny way of sneaking up on us, when we thought everything's okay and everything's going right. and life indeed, has a funny way of helping out when when we thought everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in our faces.

but then again, these are just lyrics to a song that someone wrote; maybe hypothetical to some and maybe satirical to many. but what if we come across with real life situations??? actual occurrences that we find either absurd or bizarre??? something that can make us pause for a moment and say, "hmmmmmm . . . how weird is that???" say for example, my senior citizen friend who doesn't like the generic kind for her prescription meds. she wants to buy the real ones, with the right brand and label but she can't afford it here in the US coz her insurance only allows her to get the generic ones. so, she buys her prescription meds from outside the country because out there, it's very affordable for her. when she comes back to the US, she's always honest enough to declare the purchases she made while she was abroad. much to her surprise, she's told at the customs inspection that even though it's not illegal but that, it's very un-American for her to do that because by not buying local, she's not helping the US economy. huh!!!!

when car companies move their factories to Mexico and Canada, it's okay for them to do so and it's not un-American. when toy companies are outsourced to a chinese subcontractor in china, it's okay for them to do so and it's not un-American. when shoe companies can produce their shoes in southeast asia and brazil, it's okay for them to do so and it's not un-American. when banks incorporate in Bermuda to avoid paying taxes, it's okay for them to do so and it's not un-American. but when my senior citizen friend tries so hard to stretch her retirement savings and tries to buy cheap but branded prescription meds abroad, she's helping destroy the already screwed-up US economy and at the same time, labeled as un-American. "hmmmmmm . . . how weird is that???"

maybe today, i was just looking for all the ironies and absurdities coz all i hear from the the news & everything i've observed, so far, for today, are nothing but ironies and absurdities. maybe i need to change the scenery around me, or maybe i need to breathe some fresh air, or maybe someone has to poke me in the head to wake me up from a cynical state of mind. but i can't help it. i'm sure you would feel the same way, too, if you hear stories like these ones:

• that recent LA train crash, killing 25 people, could have been avoided, if the engineer was not on his cellphone texting someone . . .
  
• oj simpson . . . got away with 1st degree murder, some 13 yrs ago . . and we all thought he would turn around and treasure/savor his new lease on life . . . but noooooooo . . . he put himself in a mess again and now will probably spend the rest of his life in jail for robbery and kidnapping . . .
• the $ 700billion bail-out??? huh!!! what a joke!!! i really hope this bail-out is what it's really cracked up to be. i hope this effort will actually strengthen the economy, as what those economic geniuses have forecasted. i can't believe the government is bailing out corporate america, with CEO's who mismanaged the economy for their own greed. it seems to me like the banks and the mortgage lenders are being rewarded for their lapses and negligence. why the bail-out? why were those people allowed to purchase 5-6-7 bedroom homes, they knew so well they couldn't afford?? how did they even get those loans approved, with no verifiable income??? oh my!!!! and now, we all have to share in the burden to fix their mistakes???
  
• foreclosed homes and election votes . . . this foreclosure crisis could do considerable damage to the nation’s voting system, come november. more than a million people have already lost their homes within the past 2 years & because voter registration is based on residential addresses, potential voters could face politically motivated challenges at the polls. there is a chance that people who have lost their homes, may also lose their chance to cast their votes.
  
• joe torre and the LA Dodgers . . . he has the widest grin right now, in the world of baseball. fired last year by the yankees, ha ha, nobody ever thought the Dodgers would make it to the playoffs this year, (while the yankees didn't make it). torre is the common denominator between the dodger's success and the yankees' lack of success thereof. the yankees' owners must be writhing in agony right now, watching the joe torre and his dodgers enjoying the limelight and trying to sweep the cubs in the series. well, the yankees' owners have no one to blame but themselves. they fired the man who was loyal to them and who has won for them multiple world series trophies. but no one saw any sour grapes on Torre's part upon his firing from New York. he just packed his bags and moved out here to Los Angeles and start a new life and a new career . . . Go Dodgers!!!!

and . . . among the many other ironic things i heard today . . . here are a few that topped my list:

• my friend who keeps complaining about his almost $200 worth of a full tank of gas . . . and yet has no plans of giving up his V8 SUVs . . . then stop complaining . . . .
• our couple friends who are so stingy, to the point of being freeloaders when we dine out . . . and yet they are readily able to spend on luxury bags and watches for themselves and take a cruise at least once a year . . . OMG!!! i am so embarrassed . . . we couldn't even afford the cruise but here we are, paying for their meals most of the time coz they always go out to smoke when the tab comes . . . well, maybe we shouldn't be dining out with them anymore . . .
  

and here's the most ironic thing of all, one can ever find in a restaurant, telling their customers how good their steak is . . . .

bank run, what??? running away from what???

in this day and age, with all this economic brouhaha, when some, if not most of us, are just trying to keep it all together . . . hanging on to a stressful job, putting up with cranky clients and eccentric coworkers, holding on to mortgages, putting off buying that much needed car and most of all, just making sure that the most basic needs are covered and then trying to save up whatever extra dollars we could get, for any eventualities that may come our way . . . and then, the next thing you hear, is that, your money may not even be safe where they're at right now?

huh!!!! these banks!!! they sure drive us nuts!! my friend, Chris, panicked when she learned that her bank was seized by the government and then was taken over by JPMorgan. OMG, OMG, to the nth time, was all my friend could ever say. "how much $$$ do you have in your bank?" i asked her. "not much, but that's everything i have.", she replied. but it leaves us all wondering if the rest of our banks are safe, as well. my husband and i don't have that much $$$$ in the bank, either, but whatever little savings we have in there, i want to make sure it's safe or else, and though this may sound too primitive, i'd rather just take them all out and stash the cash in some safety deposit boxes somewhere.

so i called up our banker and inquired about the stability of the bank. she was very nice, with her angelic voice. she explained to me that my bank/her bank, like the vast majority of the nation's banks are in good shape, and when banks do fail, we, the customers rarely lose money because most deposits are insured. huh!!!! that's good to know!! that's a relief!!! she sounded so calm and so convincing that somehow, the skeptic in me suddenly lit up. whatever she was telling me, all sounded too good to be true, so i went further and asked her some more crazy questions. "what happened if this great bank, actually, do fail?" what's my guarantee that i could take back my million pennies from your bank?"

i know that my last 2 questions & the ones before that were all ridiculous but i was serious. and my banker was very patient, despite the fact that she may probably have been dealing with weird callers like me for the entire day. although i couldn't see her facial expression and she may have been starting to get annoyed by my inquisitiveness, but she never gave me an attitude and she never made it seem like i was unimportant. she was very sympathetic and her explanations were very simple and direct to the point, something that a lay person like me, who has no idea about the financial world, could readily understand.

i learned from Ms. Banker that most deposits are FDIC insured, depending on the kind of "ownership categories". for example, single accounts in your name are covered up to $100,000 per bank. joint accounts are a separate category and also get their own $100,000 of coverage per person per bank. so if a couple have a joint savings account with $300,000 in it, $200,000 of that account is insured. retirement accounts - which must be an actual retirement account, such as an IRA, RothIRA, SEP, etc., not just an account you consider part of your retirement savings - are covered for up to $250,000. and by this time, she may have probably peeked into my account information already, coz she told me, "i see here that your joint accounts with your husbands and your other retirement accounts are safe and will be covered under the FDIC rules, if and when, God forbid, something happens to the bank, which i'm sure will never happen, but just in case, you guys will be fine."

i hope this economic crisis will be over soon. whoever wins in this presidential elections, i hope "his" 1st priority will be to bring the economy back to normal. it hurts when you see your friends and relatives lose their homes, lose their jobs, lose their lifetime savings and then lose hope in their day to day lives and what's to come. i know it'll be a hard job to do but i hope they'll do something about it and do it fast and quick, before people start to lose their minds and their sanity.